Archive for May, 2009

A Man Chopped Off His Own Penis

Sunday, 31st May, 2009

Article from: Agence France-Presse — An Egyptian man cut off his penis today in protest at his parents’ choice of bride, a police official said.

The 25-year-old labourer from the village of Sheikh Eissa in southern Egypt was taken to hospital in stable condition, the official said, adding that the man had also mutilated his testicles.

“He was in love with a woman but his parents rejected her and told him to marry another woman he didn’t want. He took a knife and cut off his penis in his room.”

Doctors were unable to reattach the severed member, the official said.

AsiaOne News — TAIPEI (AFP) – A Taiwanese man who lost two million US dollars in Las Vegas is threatening to sue the casino for using feng shui to cause his losing streak, a report here said.

The man, surnamed Yuan, alleged that the Venetian dug a one-metre (40-inch) square hole on the wall of the presidential suite he was staying in April last year and covered it with a black cloth, said Apple Daily.

The casino also put two white towels in front of Yuan’s suite and turned on two large fans facing his room without notifying him, it said.

Yuan claimed that his luck turned bad after discovering the arrangements and that he went from winning 400,000 dollars to losing two million, the report said.

The casino has promised to refund him 100,000 dollars in cash and the same amount in chips without explaining why it had agreed to this. –This one’s easy. The guy drops more money in a couple of days than most of us will see in a lifetime. Of course the Venetian is going to kiss ass, just as long as they think they can get this whale to keep coming back.

In the mean time the Sands Macau said that a feng shui master helped design every detail of its casino to ensure that all elements (metal, wood, water, fire and earth) were in harmony. This includes the round beehive-shaped casino floor to retain the casino’s ‘honey’ and the matching beehive shaped chandelier.

And you thought US and European gamblers were superstitious.

SANDUSKY, Ohio (AP) — An Ohio man arrested for mowing unkempt grass at a public park says he just wanted to make his city look nice.

John Hamilton said he took control of the situation because the grass in Sandusky’s Central Park was about a foot high.

According to a police report, a witness said Hamilton was blowing grass onto the sidewalk and shredding trash in the park that had not been picked up. Police said they arrested the 48-year-old Hamilton after he refused to stop mowing and charged him with obstructing official business and disorderly conduct.

City Manager Matt Kline called the arrest unfortunate and said he understands Hamilton’s frustration. Kline said budget cuts have left Sandusky understaffed for seasonal maintenance work.

They bust this guy for “obstructing official business.” –If there was anyone taking care of this “official business” he wouldn’t have needed to step up and try to handle the problem himself.

Who knew that good deeds were against the law in Sandusky?

I’d wager the complaint came from someone who’s job it is to mow city lawns and who is afraid that this might catch on.

Anti Virus in Klingon

Thursday, 28th May, 2009

Sophos has translated their online Threat Detection Test into Klingon. Click this link http://www.sophos.com/klingon-anti-virus/ to try their Klingon on-demand virus scan.

They translator is a member of the “Klingon Language Institute.” —Yep, such a group really does exist; and you thought those guys dressing up like cowboys for the Western Action Shooting events were weird.

I once knew a man who spent a lot of money to go to camp to learn Klingon and then wanted everyone to call him by his Klingon name. Nobody would do it, because nobody could pronounce it.

His mother not only refused to call him by his Klingon name, she went around telling people that her son had had some kind of a breakdown.

Man Pushes Suicide Jumper

Sunday, 24th May, 2009

Beijing China:
Chen Fuchao was depressed about owing some $290,000 after a business venture failed. Because of this he found himself standing on a bridge for several hours vacillating between jump and not jump, when another man walked up to him, shook his hand and pushed him.

66-year-old Lai Jiansheng was pissed at Chen’s “selfish activity” because the police had blocked off the area and traffic had been tied up for at least 5 hours. So he decided to give the man a hand.

“I pushed him off because jumpers like Chen are very selfish. Their action violates a lot of public interest,” Lai was quoted as saying by Xinhua. “They do not really dare to kill themselves. Instead, they just want to raise the relevant government authorities’ attention to their appeals.”

The paper (Xinhua) said he had been on medication for “a mental illness” for decades and had been on his way to a hospital for his pills.

— Part time crazy, meet full time crazy. —

BTW: He was only 8 meters up and received relatively minor injuries when he landed on a partially inflated rescue bag.