Madness Beckons

08/08/2008
The mayor of a remote Australian mining town has come under fire after saying that female “ugly ducklings” might benefit from its shortage of women.

John Molony told a newspaper last week that “with five blokes to every girl, may I suggest that beauty-disadvantaged women should proceed to Mount Isa”.

The council has since been swamped with complaints from both men and women.

But Mr Molony has refused to apologise for the remarks, saying he was “telling it like it is” in the Queensland town.

With the exodus of single women from small towns to the big cities there is a severe female shortage in rural communities.

But I wonder what the mayor of the town of Glenden in the northern state of Queensland where there is only one single female for every 23 men thinks of Molony’s statement.

I’ll bet he’s thinking the same thing only he’s trying to come up with a politically correct way of saying “too unattractive for Mount Isa.”

The BBC needed a picture of someone taking a lie detector test to illustrate and article on Pedophiles. So they bought a royalty free photo and posted it with the face blurred.

So far so good: Unfortunately they chose a photo of Leonid Chernovetsky, the new Mayor of Kiev. The item above is from a Russian magazine showing the BBC version and the original.

He may not be a pedophile but according to his detractors Leonid Chernovetsky “Cosmos” is nuts.

The mayor has even earned himself the nickname, “Lyonya Cosmos”, because of his sometimes other-worldly behavior and his glassy stare.

BBC:
A parliamentary commission set up in Ukraine to evaluate the mayor of Kiev, Leonid Chernovetskiy, says he should submit to a psychiatric examination.

Mr Chernovetskiy, a former banker, won re-election as an independent last May.

Members of the ad hoc parliamentary commission voted unanimously on Friday to order the mayor to undergo a psychiatric evaluation.

The commission was set up to investigate alleged violations of the constitution, laws, and recent decisions taken by Kiev city council.

Other notes about Cosmos:
He has been an important philanthropist in Kiev concentrated on caring for the city homeless and poor.
In 2004 he became a self nominated candidate for president as part of a move to help Victor Yushenko become president.
He was awarded the Order of Yaroslav the Wise by President Victor Yushenko in 2008.
In February 2009 he released a compact disc with “popular songs of the 1980s” sung by him.
And in spite of the commission saying he is corrupt and also needs Psychiatric help, Cosmos plans to run for president of the Ukraine.

On the whole; He appears to be corrupt and crazy. –If that was used as a reason to prevent a person from holding office we would have a serious shortage of politicians in this state.

A final note on Ukrainian politics:Mizozo:
Since Ukrainian Senators are immune to prosecution, often the rich that are facing charges buy seats in order to avoid a possible prison sentence. Yulia Tymoshenko came to power for this reason, to avoid a Russian extradition for stealing Billions of Dollars in Gas.

Vremya Novostei: The content of toxic substances – lead, arsenic, cadmium, mercury, radioactive nuclides, caesium, pesticides and ergot – must be restricted in the Russian beer. Parasites of bread reserves – insects and ticks – must not appear in the production process. Beer must be made without the use of ethyl alcohol. Labels on the end product must provide full and true information for customers. These are a few of the new technical regulations on beer; the document was submitted to the Russian parliament, the State Duma, on Tuesday.

They are also regulating the amount of beer in special beer. It must contain at least 80% beer.
Beer based soft drinks and cocktails must contain at least 40% beer.

Beer based soft drinks…. Only in Russia.

How to break your dick, Jamaican style.

KINGSTON – Representatives of some hospitals revealed that more men have been fracturing their penises in recent months than any other time in Jamaica.

Checks with urologists in some of the country’s major hospitals have revealed that the “noticeable increase” in the number of cases where men fracture their members is largely attributed to the men’s obsession with daggerin’, aka rough sex.

While promising to send data regarding to the increase in the cases at a later date, one urologist from the Kingston Public Hospital (KPH) said he had treated, on average, some two cases of penile fracture each month, counting from December 2008.

“We’ve noticed an increase,” the doctor said.

“Almost every other week, since late last year, there is one case for this hospital.”

Another surgeon from that facility said the majority of cases that come to the hospital are a result of extremely vigorous sex or, in most recent popular terms, ‘daggeration’.

“It’s possibly daggerin’ people tend to have a predisposition to rough sex,” the surgeon said.

“(So) during very rigorous intercourse, the penis slips out and in an attempt to ram it back in, the man hits the woman’s pubic bone and pops the penis.”

What’s left to say?….. ouch!
Here’s the music video for “Daggering” by Mr. Vegas

Ladies, now you can please that Uber-Trekkie in your life. –I’m talking about the guy who would rather watch Capt. Quirk seduce the rainbow colored girl of the week than have sex with you.

Just spritz a little of this Star Trek perfume on your neck -being sure to leave the bottle where he can easily see it- and you’ll have him out of that musty old Klingon outfit and into your bed in a flash.

Assuming of course that he’s not in the middle of a first five seasons marathon. In which case all I can recommend is you give up and try find solace in the Star Trek drinking game.

PCWorld:
Yes, you read correctly, my Klingon-crazy comrades: A novelty fragrance company has come out with a Star Trek-themed spray for the ladies. So strap yourself in and get your sniffer ready: We’re about to explore strange new smells, to seek out new aromas and new olfactory experiences, and — you guessed it — to boldly go where no nose has gone before.

You can preorder Pon Farr now for about $30 a bottle.

“You’ll find the stuff at Action Figure Express, Big Bad Toy Store, and other fine fragrance retailers nationwide.”

“Action Figure Express, Big Bad Toy Store, and other fine fragrance retailers nationwide..” ????