Madness Beckons

Ananova –Back in April a German man survived a 25ft plunge down a lift shaft when he landed on a woman who had fallen down it a day before.

Jens Wilhelms, 27, was unhurt after landing on the 57-year-old woman and managed to free himself from the shaft at the apartment block in Frankfurt am Main where he lived.

He called out rescue services who took the woman to hospital. Doctors said she is in a critical condition after sustaining injuries in her original fall – and then again when Wilhelms landed on her.

Police spokesman Manfred Vonhausen said: “The woman had been lying unconscious in the shaft for some time already.

Wilhelms said he had slipped as he walked past the lift shaft which had been left open as it was undergoing repairs.

“I live on one the top floor and it was quite a nuisance to always climb the stairs,” he said.

“I saw the door open and I just wanted to check whether somebody was finally working on the elevator.

“I took a closer look inside the shaft as it was pitch black, and must have slipped off the edge somehow.”

Two people in a row fall down the shaft. Do you think they fixed it yet or did they just put up more caution tape?

BBC –A man has been attacked by a panda at a park in southern China, after he climbed into its enclosure hoping to cuddle the creature.

It seems this fool’s odd behavior frightened the panda who responded by biting the man on the arms and legs.

The man – named only as Liu – was taken to hospital. He underwent an operation and doctors said he would stay in hospital for a few days, although his life was not in danger.

“Yang Yang was so cute and I just wanted to cuddle him,” he told reporters from his hospital bed.

“I didn’t expect he would attack… I don’t remember how many bites I got.”

Yang Yang – whose name means sun – is seven years old and weighs 80kg (176lb). Keepers said he had recovered from the incident and was eating and playing as normal.

Variety – Huseyin Kalkan, mayor of the predominantly Kurdish town located in the Batman province of Turkey on the Batman River, is preparing to file a series of charges against Nolan and Warner Bros. for royalties from the blockbuster film.

It seems they used Batman without Batman’s permission.

The mayor also hopes to pin a number of unsolved murders along with the town’s female suicide rate on the psychological impact the film’s success had on Batman’s inhabitants.

Do you think The Dark Knight grossing almost $1 billion might have something to do with it?

Warner says no legal papers have been served yet.

The Denver Channel May 5, 2008 GRAND JUNCTION, Colo. — An 18-year-old man went to the hospital after he was burned trying to steal gas, according to published reports.

The man peered into a portable gas tank with a cigarette lighter “to see how full it was.”

A similar thing happened in Wisconsin in October:
A man from Wauzeka was traveling with a woman from Mukwonago when they decided they needed gas, so they tried to siphon fuel out of an SUV. (No, I did not just make those names up.)

Same approach. He didn’t know how full the container was so he decided to flick his Bic to take a peek.

They’re right. You just can’t fix stupid.

AP – In a sign of the times, the National Debt Clock in New York City has run out of digits to record the growing figure.

As a short-term fix, the digital dollar sign on the billboard-style clock near Times Square has been switched to a figure – the “1″ in $10 trillion. It’s marking the federal government’s current debt at about $10.2 trillion. The Durst Organization says it plans to update the sign next year by adding two digits. That will make it capable of tracking debt up to a quadrillion dollars.

The late Manhattan real estate developer Seymour Durst put the sign up in 1989 to call attention to what was then a $2.7 trillion debt.